Kylie Minogue NOT pint sized

In an exclusive interview, pint sized pop princess Kylie Minogue has revealed she is NOT pint sized. Furthermore, she has candidly spoke about how she hates people constantly making references to her height.

“Everywhere I flamin’ look, there’s articles written about my height. The flamin’ drongoes should talk about something else other than how tall I am”, the tiny singer said.

She then stunned everyone by claiming she isn’t actually pint sized. “I’m taller than a flamin’ pint!” The petite songstress complained, and to back up her claims pulled out a pint to demonstrate she was in fact taller than it.

kylie pint

THE SHOCKING TRUTH: Kylie standing next to a pint glass, above.

Amazingly, Kylie was at least 2 cm taller than the pint glass. Professor of pint glasses at Newcastle University Jimmy Nail said the picture is not conclusive. “While Kylie looks taller than the pint glass, you have to remember she’s wearing shoes. You would have to take a couple centimetres off for that. Although my estimation is that she she’s probably a tiny bit taller than a pint glass”

Kylie made it clear she was hoping that this evidence will put an end to people constantly talking about her height. “Perhaps now people will stop calling me a flamin’ ‘pint sized pop princess’, I really hate it when they say that all the time.”

The pint sized pop princess then poured some Foster’s lager into the pint glass and started to drink from it through a straw. Then she squeaked that she needed to visit somewhere called ‘The Dunny’, which we assume is one of Australia’s trendy nightclubs. The diminutive star then scurried off as fast as her tiny little legs would carry her.

Titchy Kylie’s husband, Jason Donovan, who famously starred alongside her in ‘Jason and his Amazing Technicolour Underpants’, was unavailable for comment.


Putin comes out as gay – shock as Russian President reveals secret homosexual side

Vladimir Putin has stunned the world by coming out of the closet as a homosexual. In a sensational video he posted on Youtube, Putin spoke candidly how he had been hiding in the closet for many years, and finally decided it was time to come out. “I didn’t like being in closet. It has spiders. Spiders are scary.”

He has also brought out a sexy new calendar, aimed exclusively for the gay community. “It has nice sexy pictures of me, with my top off.”

Below is one of the pictures shot for the calendar.

gay putin shirtless

He claimed it was one of his favourites. “I like this one, because it shows me with big rod”, he camply chuckles.

Putin also claimed he wanted to take more of a back seat in politics, as he wanted to concentrate more on his modelling and acting, which includes taking to the stage. “I’m big fan of musicals.I want to be in Rocky Horror Picture Show, wearing fishnet stockings and all that fabulous make up.”

But for the moment, Putin is currently getting ready for panto season, as he is starring as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella at Plymouth Pavillions.

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